MY DREAMS, MY FEARS 

 

                            A TRUE LIFE STROY, OF UNCERTINITY, WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS AND POWER TO SUBDUE THAT FEAR, IS ALL ABOUT YOU.YOUR GREAT MIND, IDEA TALENTS, AND GIFTS BESTOWED UPON THE INNER YOU CALLED THE MIND. AND HOW WE STRUGGLED WITH FEARS, UNFORSEEN THOUGHTS UNEXISTING IMAGES OF SHADOWS CALLED FEAR WHICH NEVER EXISTED BUT IMAGINATIONS OF THOUHTS.

 

CHAPTER ONE .

​

I BOB PAUL WAS BORN IN A FAMILY OF EIGHT, FOURTH CHILD AND SECOND SON OF THAT GREAT FAMILY. I WENT TO PRIMARY SCHOOL WITH THE FEAR OF WHAT THE FUTURE HOLD AS A POOR BOY,I ALWAYS RECIEVE A LOT OF WEEPS BEOFRE I CAN SUBMIT ANYTHING ASKED FROM SCHOOL , ALWAYS COME LATE TO SCHOOL AND RECEIVED 2 OR 3 WEEPS DUE TO THE DISTANCE I WALK TO SCHOOL DAILY. I UNDERSTAND DADDY HAD NOT ENUOGH. OFTEN DADDY WELL ASK ME BOB, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO BECOME WHEN YOU GREW UP I WOULD REPLY A DOCTOR, A SCIENTIST OR AN ACCOUNTANT. THEN HE WOULD ASKED, WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO BE A GOOD CAR MECHNIC OR A GOOD CARPENTAR BUT I WOULD SAY NO DADDY I WANT TO BE AN ACCOUNTANT. HE WOULD SAY TO ME WHEN YOU GROW UP SO WE WILL END THE DISCUSSION FOR ANOTHER GOOD DAY'.

 

CHAPTER TWO.

 

IN 1990 I PASSED MY EXAMINATION TO GO INTO COLLEGE GOING TO COLLEGE WAS MY SWEETIEST JOY AND EXPERIENCE AS A BOY , MY FATHER WAS ADVICED TO LET ME INTO AN APPRENTICESHIP AS A MECHNIC WHICH A REJECTED ON TWO OCCASSIONS BECAUSE OF MONEY . SO I STARTED FOLLOWING FRIENDS TO SALE ON TRIFFIC TO SUPPORT MY SCHOOL WHICH WAS NOT EASZY FOR A YOUNGER BOY OF 11YEARS I HAVE NO JOY IN ALL MY COLLEGE DAYS BECAUSE I SUPPORT MYSLEF WITH THAT HAWKING AND GOES HOME LATE BY 10PM VERY FAR FROM HOME.AT THE END OF MY COLLEGE I WAS TOLD TO GO AND JOIN APPRENTISHIP WHICH I SAID NO TO THAT, I WAS TOLD THAT THERE IS NO MONEY FOR UNIVERSITY SCHOOL FEE COMING FROM A LOW INCOME FATHER SO I MADE UP MY MIND THAT I MUST SUPPORT MYSELF TO GO TO A UNIVERSITY FOR A DEGREE BUT FEAR WAS ON ME OF HOW AND WHO WILL SUPPORT ME WITH THE FEES.I BECAME MORE SOBER , SO I MADE NO FRIEND JUST TO REMAIN FOCUS

 

.CHAPTER THREE.

​

I SAT FOR WEST AFRICAN EXAIMINATION ,WHICH I MADE ONLY 3 CREDITS IN MATHEMATICS, BIOLOGY AND ECONMIC AND A PASS IN ENGLISH LANGUAGE BUT ALL UNIVERSITY REQUIRED 5 CREDITS FOR ADIMMSIONS INCLUDING ENGLISH AND MATHEMATICS , SO I SHOWED MY DADDY THE RESULT BUT HE SAID NOTHING.I TRIED TO REGISTER FOR GCEBUT NO MONEY FO MY REGISTRATION, SO I JOIN A BOY TO HAWKED BISCUTIS AND SEAL WATER TO RISE FUND FOR EXTRAL CLASS TILL I MADE THE REQUIRED 5 CREDITS SO I MADE IT CLEAR THAT I WANT TO GO TO THE UNIVERSITY BUT THEN IT WAS MORE CLEAR TO ME THAT IT MAY NOT BE POSSIBLE BECAUSE MY FATHER AS SECRUITY GUARD WITH A VERY LOW INCOME WHICH MAY NOT BE ENOUGH FOR THE FAIMLY.SO MY OPINION WAS OPPOSED BASED ON HIS LEVEL OF INCOME.I PRESSED FURTHER BUT NO WAS THE ANSWER I GET . I WENT OUT TO LOOK FOR JOB WHICH I GOT A JOB WITH A DANGOTE FLOUR MILL IN LAGOS, I SAVED MUCH MONEY WHICH I USED TO SIT FOR ENTERANCE EXAIM AND GET ADIMMISON IN A UNIVERSITY OF ILORIN 1998. BUT AFTER I PAID ALL FEES WITH MY SAVINGS I CAME BACK TO HOME AFTER 4 FOUR MONTHS FOR LACK OF SUPPORT I CRIED BITTERLY AFTER TWO MONTHS OF NOT GOING BACK TO SCHOL. THAT WAS THE END. WHILE MY FRIENDS FROM WELL TO DO FAMILIES ARE NOW INTO 2ND YEAR IN UNIVERSITIES. IT WAS NOT A GOOD EXPERIENCE FOR ME, BITTERED AND FUSTRATTED I WAS AND CRIED FOR DAYS. I WENT AND JOINED ATS OF ICAN (ACCOUNTING TECHNICIAN SCHEME), TO FILL GAP BUT ONE AFTERNOON DURING A CLASS FOR FINANCIAL ACCOUNTING 1. WE SAW A CLERK STADING AT THE ENTERANCE, AND MADE A SIGNED TO THE LECTURER, NEXT WAS THE SCHOOL AUTHORITY 5 MEN IN NUMBER WALKING INTO THE CLASS, WE ALL SHOUTED A GREETING ‘GOOD AFTERNOON SIRS AND A BOOK WAS OPENED WITH LIST OF NAMES OWING THE SCHOOL FEES. READ OUT THE NAMES AND ASKED US TO REMAIN STANDING, THE AUTHOIRTY CAME IN LINE BY LINE AND SIT BY SIT, TOOK ALL OUR BAGS FOR NOT MAKING FULL PAYMENT AFTER 3 MONTHS WHICH MADE ME TO WALK FOR 3 HOURS BY FOOT AS TO GO HOME. GETTING HOME I SPOKE TO NO ONE BUT LAYED FACE DOWN AND SLEPT OFF FOR HOURS IN TEARS. I SPOKE TO NO ONE IN THE HOUSE OF MY EXPERIENCE.

​

CHAPTER FOUR.

​

ONE DAY I MET A FRIEND. WHO TOLD ME ABOUT PART TIME SCHOOL? CALLED LAGOS STATE POLYTECHNIC. I WAS AFRAID OF GOING INTO THE SCHOOL EVEN FOR INQURY BUT HE ENCOURAGED ME TO GO AND PURCHASE THE FORM, WHICH I DID PURCHASED THE PART TIME FORM FILLED IT AND SUBMITTED WEEKS LATER NAMES WERE OUT I WENT, CHECK AND FOUND MY NAME NUMBER 196 IN ACCOUNTING JOY AND TEARS WAS MIXED IN MY HEART WEEKS LATER I PAID MY SCHOOL FEE AND STARTD THE COURSE IN ACCOUNTING, IN YEAR 2000 WHEN MY DADDY HEARD IT. THROUGH MY ELDER SISTER, DADDY CALLED ME AND GAVE ME BACK PART OF THE MONEY WHICH I THEN USED FOR TEXTBOOKS AND HANDOUTS FROM THERE HE STARTED TO SUPPORT ME BUT I DID ALL KINDS OF WORK TO ENSURE THAT I PAID ALL MY FEES AND AFTER 2 YEARS I GRADUATED WITH 2ND CLASS IN ACCOUNTING NATIONAL DIPLOMA. AS SOON AS I GET MY CERTIFICATE AS OND IN ACCOUNTING I STARTED LOOKING FOR JOB BUT FOUND NONE SO I WENT INTO TEACHING AND WENT BACK TO CONTINUE MY HIGHER NATIONAL DIPLOMA HND. WHICH IS NOW A DEGREE THEN AS SOON AS I OBTAIN THE HND HIGHER NATIONAL DIPLOMA I PICK A BANKING JOB IN BANK PHB, NOW KEYSTONE BANK AND FURTHER WENT BACK T0 THE THAT UNIVERSITY OF MY FIRST CHOICE FOR PGD POSTGRADUATE DIPLOMA. A YEAR COURSE AS SOON AS I GET OBTAIN THE PGD CERTIFICATE I PICKED THE MASTERS FORM AND ENROLLED INTO INSTITUTE OF CHARACTERED ACCOUNTANT OF NIGERIA. ALL MY MONEY WENT INTO EDUCATION.AND TODA , I WAS THE FIRST TO GOT A UNIVERSITY CERFICATE AND THE FIRST TO HAVE A MASTERS DEGREE IN MY FAMIL, AM MARRIED WITH CHILDREN. AS AN ACCOUNTANT, HAD WORKED IN MANY FIRMS AND AS INTERNAL AUDITOR FOR MANY RESTAURANTS AND HOSPTILITY COMPANIES MY DREAMS ARE BIGGER THAN MY FEARS. ONE DAY I REMEMBERED THE PAST, AS I HOLD MY PEN AND LOOKED BACK BUT I SEE NO MORE THOSE SHADOWS OF FEAR, CHANLLENGES. I CAN DO ALL THINGS .I SEE THE FUTURE AS A FRIEND, WHO CAN STAY WITH YOU OR WALKED AWAY, WHO CHANLLENENGES YOU TO MOVE. FEAR IS LIKE A CAR ONCE YOU FUEL IT PUT THE IGNATION KEY. IT WELL MOVE OUT OF YOUR WAY. THANKS.