SEX AND ALCOHOL

SEX AND ALCOHOL

Sex and Alcohol: A Moral Struggle in the Lives of Men

By Paul Anyanwu

Dedication

To every man who has struggled in silence, to the boys becoming men in a world full of noise, and to the One who never stopped believing in me — this is for you.

Foreword

This book is not about condemnation — it is about confession, confrontation, and redemption. I share these words not because I am perfect, but because I survived. The struggle between sex, alcohol, and the moral compass inside us is real, painful, and often unspoken. My story is one of failure, faith, and ultimately, freedom.

Table of Contents

• Dedication

• Foreword

• Introduction

• Chapter One: The Allure – When It All Looked Good

• Chapter Two: The Cycle – Lost in Lust and Liquor

• Chapter Three: The Quiet Fall – Losing Yourself in the Dark

• Chapter Four: The Climb Back – How I Began My Healing Journey

• Chapter Five: Redeemed Masculinity – Becoming the Man I Was Meant to Be

• Chapter Six: A Message to Young Men – What I Wish I Knew

• References

Introduction

Every man fights a war most people never see.

Behind the sharp suits, the confident handshakes, and the loud laughter, many of us are quietly bleeding. Sex and alcohol have become tools of escape for countless men — tools we were never taught how to handle. What started as curiosity turned into a coping mechanism. What promised pleasure often delivered pain.

This book is my story. Raw, unfiltered, and real. Not because I have all the answers, but because I finally stopped hiding from the questions. If you’ve ever battled addiction, lust, or loneliness — this is for you.

Let’s begin.

Chapter One: The Allure – When It All Looked Good

It all starts innocently.

A drink with friends. A casual glance that lingers too long. A laugh that leads to a touch. As young men, we’re drawn to what feels good — what makes us feel alive, wanted, powerful. Sex becomes a badge of honor. Alcohol, a sign of freedom.

But nobody tells you about the trap.

No one warns you that the very things that excite you can one day enslave you. That the fun fades, but the consequences stay. That what begins as pleasure can grow into a prison.

I didn’t see the danger. I saw freedom. I saw maturity. I saw manhood.

And like many others — I walked straight into the fire.

Chapter Two: The Cycle – Lost in Lust and Liquor

The scariest part of addiction isn’t when you fall — it’s when you stop trying to get back up.

What began as weekend fun turned into weekday habits. I started drinking to sleep, and waking up needing another drink. Sex became a way to feel loved — even if it lasted just for minutes.

And the more I gave in, the less I recognized myself.

Guilt would follow every encounter. Regret would shadow every high. But I’d do it again, hoping this time it would fill the emptiness.

The cycle is cruel: pleasure, guilt, shame, repeat.

I was stuck.

Chapter Three: The Quiet Fall – Losing Yourself in the Dark

Falling doesn’t always make a sound.

Sometimes, the biggest collapse in a man’s life happens silently — in the heart, in the mind, behind closed doors. That’s how I fell. Quietly. Slowly. Alone.

I was still showing up. Still working. Still laughing. But inside, something was dying.

I remember the night I broke — standing in front of a mirror, not recognizing the man staring back. I dropped to my knees and whispered a broken prayer:

"God, if you're still there… I don’t want to live like this anymore."

That was the beginning of my climb.

Chapter Four: The Climb Back – How I Began My Healing Journey

Rock bottom is painful — but it’s also solid ground.

I started small. Avoiding temptations. Saying no. Reading scripture again. Speaking honestly to God. I found a mentor — someone who had been through it and survived. I wasn’t alone anymore.

Healing didn’t happen in a moment. It happened in movement.

Each day I chose discipline over desire, I grew stronger. Each time I said no to my past and yes to my future, I reclaimed a part of myself.

I was climbing.

Chapter Five: Redeemed Masculinity – Becoming the Man I Was Meant to Be

True masculinity is not dominance — it’s discipline.

I stopped chasing status and started chasing purpose. I treated women with respect. I faced pain with prayer, not with a bottle.

Strength, I learned, isn’t in silence. It’s in honesty.

"I am not my past. I am who I choose to become."

Chapter Six: A Message to Young Men – What I Wish I Knew

To every young man walking the same path I once did:

You don’t have to lose yourself to be accepted. You don’t need sex to prove you’re a man. You don’t need alcohol to forget your pain. And you don’t need to pretend you’re okay when you’re not.

Find your worth in something eternal. Surround yourself with truth. And never let fear define your future.

Because if I, a broken man, can rise — so can you.

You are not alone.

You are not too far gone.

You are not finished.

References

1. Cloud, Henry, and John Townsend. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life. Zondervan, 1992.

2. Eldredge, John. Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul. Thomas Nelson, 2001.

3. Meyer, Joyce. Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind. Faith Words, 1995.

4. Wright, Norman. Overcoming Life’s Challenges: Lessons from the Life of Joseph. Revell, 2010.

5. The Holy Bible, New International Version. Biblica,2011.

– Paul Anyanwu